Thursday, August 21, 2008

its my body right?

O.k. so I asked my mom of I could get a piercing she said no.
I then asked her if I could get a tattoo she said no.
Later on I asked if I could dye my hair she ignored me and when I kept bugging her she threatened to ground me.

It my body right? So why can’t I just do what I feel?

Why do parents have a control over us? Why can’t they just give us money and let us live our lives and of course be there once we do some thing stupid that they probably would have told us no to?

So since my mom wouldn’t let me I cut my hair ... short I now have pinks hair cut, and there nothing my mom can do.
Last I checked she couldn’t make hair grow out of thin air.

I’m happy with my new do and she has no choice but to be happy to.... at least I didn’t go back to my Mohawk right?

Who care it’s my body and I can do what I want with it!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

bbbooorrreeeddd !!!!

Have you ever felt conceded at times? If you said no well you’re lying.
I feel conceded right now. I just pulled my portfolio out of the closet and I really do feel conceded.

Not only do I feel conceded I’m bored and lazy to. It’s raining out side....
Naturally and normally I’d pick up a book and read but I don’t feel like it.

I bought a bag of tootsie pops and attempted to see how long it would take to lick all the way to the center. Half way through the bag I forgot what and why I was doing it,
The bags now gone and I have a killed stomach ache. Oh it takes me 120 slow watery licks :}.

When I woke up this morning I felt like it was going to be a blaaah day that’s why I miss school.
But after dancing around my room in my undies me realized I needed a life.

My bother's in collage so he had a morning class which gave me the chance to go explore his room :) I retrieved my long lost psp and started playing metal gear I’ve now beat it and they say I’m a kerotan what ever that may be....
Before I started on this blog I shot a couple of zombies in the head before getting grossed out and quitting, plus I hate feeling anxious.

I’ve decide to move on out to the kitchen to make some sort of food since I haven’t had a solid meal. (No kid’s candy doesn't count)
Oh yeah my ex boy friend's coming over haven't seen him in a while he's kind of fun when he's not trying to get me to sleep with him (which is why we broke up in the first place).

Hummm .......................................... why is my life so boring? And why is it that when it’s not boring it sucks? Eeeekk save me!!!!

altinate ending part 4(2) final edition

He stared heading for me I screamed dropping my lap top, and falling back in to the mirror.
To my surprise I didn't hear the shattering of glass.
A sudden coldness over came me for some reason I was drenched in some kind of cold goo.
I stood up, utter darkness I reached for my back pocket of my trusted lighter.
I flicked it on and held it up I stared at the boy. He was attempting to break the mirror but it didn’t seem to be working "you'll be safe here" I heard a voice say I jerked around.

It was only me, my self form at a younger age. I relaxed “can he get in?" I asked " no this is your safe haven remember?" I looked around it all came back to me when I was younger my folks had a home and one day while playing in the yard I saw a hole and crawled in. inside was a little cave every day after school I would come home grad a snack and some book's and go into my cave, my shell, my safe haven. There nothing could hurt me, there were no adult's having heated arguments, no kids could pick on me there.

The question was why I was back there and who was that psycho trying to kill me?

“If you wish it, it shall be" said my mini me “what?" she repeated herself “if you wish it, it shall be"
“Why can’t any one just say what they mean? I hate riddles! And any thing mind boggling. I just want to go home and blog!" "If that’s what I become I don’t want to be you" she turned walked to a corner and sat down.
I stood there looking ashamed of my self what was I becoming the only thing I ever cared about was blogging. It had become like an addiction.

my inability to be the way I was kept me trapped in my own head while my body laid in a hospital bed aging and wasting away in a coma.

Then one day as I sat in my corner I said “I wish I could go home, I wish I could see my friends and family one more time”
I finally understood that there was more to life than blogging that there was more to life than sitting at my laptop. And if given a second chance I would go out there and live my life.

I then woke up back in my room.

"That was the strangest effing dream ever!" said getting up from my bed
I should blogg this.

The end

the ending of "whats blogging?"

and then .... i ate cake ;}

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

whats blogging? part 3

Several minutes past.
She must be gone I thought
Looking up.


This time she was not alone.
A familiar looking boy was sitting
Next to her.

o.k. I thought I didn’t hear him come in,
"your still here I see” I said” and you invited
Your friend?"

They looked at me “well when you’re done you can join us for tea"
replied the girl in a haughty voice.

Getting annoyed I stood up and walked to the door of my room
if they weren't going to leave I was. I needed peace and quiet
to blog and if there was going to be a disturbance it was only
going to be caused by the sounds of Pink. As I passed my closet
door I caught a glimpse of my self at the age of five or maybe six
I stopped.

“Do you see now" said the little girl
"I don’t get it" I responded still steering at my self
"What is it you want from me?" I turn around to face the
little girl but where she last stood was an adolescent girl
about the age of fifteen with blood spilling from the gapping
wounds on her face .the boy that had been there was an adolescent
now himself , and he was holding the bloody knife
“O.k. “I cried “what did you do”
He looked up as though realizing I was standing there and
then he started heading my way........

Monday, August 11, 2008

what is blogging?part 2

back in my room,
sitting on my bed with my laptop
blogging i hear a a diffrent voice asking
me when i will stop

"I'll stop when I'm done" i said

i miss hanging out with you like i used to
said the voice

my curiosity go the better of me
i looked up .
sitting at the end of my bed was a little girl
I'd never seen her in my life yet alone played with her
who was she what did she want and why couldn't she let
me just blog in Peace?
" who are you ?" i ask
" you know who i am " she respond
losing patience i snapped " obviously not if i had to ask"

she frowned " you weren't always like this, you've changed"
giving up on the intruder of my room i returned to blogging

so are you coming or what she asked
i ignored her hoping she would just go away and get out.....

traped in my head

..... here goes . lately I've been trapped in my head not wanting to leave . i cant stand being out of my mind for to long . searching for true love in the wrong places, wanting to be some body ,wanting to be nobody, torn.

sometimes i think of what it would be like to be open and true to my self

but the thought of that scares me . wanting to make every body happy . mama said i was a freak for what i did so i went in my Shell like the crab i am . i want to be happy but it doesn't fit into my schedul . the only time i feel safe is while I'm in a dark room processing photo's of the life i wised i had . i plaster on a smile every morning because i hear that's what I'm supposed to do . lost... .

the mind the sole most complicated place after the heart. if my world were less complicated I'd have clones so i wouldn't feel so alone.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

what is meatloaf

meatloat is......

made by mixing ground meat , one onion, one raw egg, chopped green peper,
two choped tomatoes, half a cup of bread croms and a quater cup of milk.
then baked .

Friday, August 1, 2008

here are the directions to ...

on a diffrent note,

here are the directions to creation of a perfect end of day.

go to boston market order rice with stringbeans and meat loaf, ask for a side order of gravy go home dish it out on a plate and enjoy.
dont for get to patt your self on the back for saving time that you can now use to watch t.v or blog:>
what is blogging?
is it where you go and rant and rave about stuff you don't like?

that's what she asked me

i guess i responded shrugging, i do it because
i like sharing my mind with strangers
who are some what like me,
poor lost souls.

i look up from my laptop, amazed to see that the person
i was speaking to was my self at a younger age.
i shook my head.
are you OK ?she said
i looked up again more surprised than ever ....
i was back in the room i never left.