Tuesday, December 23, 2008

happy holidaz people

happy holidaz people
see you in 09
peaz out (peace)

Monday, November 24, 2008

what more can i say?

Here is what really happened last may. I must get this off my chest so it can stop killing me. I never lied to lem. Chriz said I did but I never did. I wouldn't I ... I respected her to much to do such a thing. She was my friend she made me laugh she took care of me. I knew better than to betray that. I may have been a pain in the butt occasionally but that’s how I show I care. If I could I would beat the living crap out of chriz because she is a lying a**hole. Pheww ... but if I could go back in time and fix every thing I don’t even know where I would begin. Changing the past isn't an option so I give up on that, but maybe some day one day I’ll let lem know what really happened. I don't care if she believes me or not I just want her to hear my side..... “She’s a pearl in a black see”.

Friday, November 21, 2008

" Yes We Can"


Monday, November 10, 2008

the goodz of the day

1) Buy a homeless person lunch
2) (Here’s a simple one) hold the door for the person behind you.
3) (Its kind of weird but) hug a tree
4) Give your pet a holiday treat.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

the annoying kind of bypolar

call her ... snape. Well snake sorry snape lied on my name and put a strain on the friendship I had with the girl mentioned at the start of this story lets call her ... M. I talked to M and I realized there was no point in my doing so . Well the moral of the story is people aren’t worth it I’m not just talking about those mentioned above I’m just talking about people in general._/_/_

The nakedness

O.M.G yesterday I was walking through the locker room when all of a sudden I saw..... Ha-Ha you thought I was going to tell you an interesting up seen story but I’m not I am how ever working on getting a lobotomy to delete the traumatic experience my brain went through heheheheh oh it burns I believe my eyes have been scared for life. Any way I took my year book pictures yesterday I was very creped out when some girl was like she liked my body. I’m not homophobic or anything but still it’s creepy. Then I was traumatized by seeing a practically naked person whom I.... never wanted to see naked because that changes the entire way I think of them and now I shall never be the same , lets not mention I had traumatic nightmares of naked people chasing me . I swear I’m not going in to any more locker rooms I have the kind of luck where I see very disturbing stuff for example this summer I saw two people doing "it" in the locker room all naked and every thing ewwwwww here where I end this before I puke.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Today’s way to do well shall be give sponsorship to an orphaned ...

Hmm I had a good day to day. I like it when basket ball season comes in it makes me feel useful. Plus a friend of mine is trying out for the team and I hope she gets in. I’m not just saying I hope she gets in because she is my friend I’m saying I hope she gets in because she’s good at it and she really wants it.

Today’s way to do well shall be give sponsorship to an orphaned chimpanzee. Visit www.ida-africa.org to sponsor an orphaned chimpanzee. This makes a great alternative gift during the holidays.

If you don’t want to adopt a chimpanzee you can donate to the world wildlife federation. Visit www.wwf.org for more information.

If you’re wondering if I do all this stuff don’t, just go out there and do your thing give back people!! Give back.

Maybe next time I’ll tell you the story of the roasted baby chimp being sold on the side of the road as food.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Here is a question to any one who reads this blog

Ok so there is this girl who use to be my friend but now she’s not and she has been acting like she just might want to talk to me. She hasn't spoken directly to me except for yesterday when she said thank you after I handed her a paper (note she didn't have to say thank you she could have just taken it). today I was in the locker room with Annyb and we were whispering she then asked why we were whispering and came over to talk (which she did with anny) see she said she didn't want to talk to me (several mouths ago) and I intended to for fill that wish (I’m that type of person tell me you don’t want to talk to me or see me and I’ll make that happen... for ever). I kind of want to be her friend; she was a good friend different from the types of people I normally hang around.

So here is the question to any one who reads this blog should I become more flexible and change my (anal) policy and talk to her? Or just keep ignoring her and pretend she doesn't exist?

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

the right thing to do

today you shall learn about Becoming more accepting of your colleagues(this
also goes for classmates). people have different work habits, skills,and abilities. resist the urge to criticize and demean . instead accept coworkers the way they are and for the talent and skills they have.

also don't judge a book by its cover ( that includes the inside flap) take time and read the pages you might learn something nice.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

to days " way to do good"

BE a politically active citizen and go vote!!!

Your country needs you! Even though it hasn’t been there for you lately.

And if you haven’t already take your money out of the bank just incase of another depression. Thanks George W just what I always needed ... to be depressed.

Friday, October 10, 2008

The bird is the word


I had an epiphany the other day. I don’t remember what it was but I just wanted to let the world know.
Hmm what’s new worth these days? The economy? Lindsay lohan? (I personally think she rocks 7/2 all cancers rock except tom cruise) terrorist? Or that I am no longer single and I’m in the best relationship ever!!! Hmmm oh I’m at one with the world I have no anger I have no hate I am a shinny example of what every person on the face of this earth with my name and birthday should be like :). From now on as often as possible I’ll give you 1001 ways to do well. To day’s thing is " do well globally" adopt an acre of vital wetlands. the African wet lands are in danger. Your support can help save these important migration areas. Check www.awf.org
So yeah i'ma go find some thing to do peace.

Friday, September 26, 2008

the worst dance ever!!!

Today I went to the worst dance of my life. It sucked so badly I wanted to cry. my ears nearly bleed from the horrid selection of music .the bumping and grinding was so up scene it could have been a porno , people wonder why fashion has a gossip page ( www.myspace.com/fashion gossip) the girls in my school (excluding some) are the slutiest females on this planet that’s why. In my opinion it’s no party with out DJ Samantha Ronson (but we can’t afford her so oh well).
On the bright side I spent my entire time texting my one true love :)
Oh I wish I had a phone!
You know the other day I was on the train and this orthodox Jewish guy came in , I noticed there were a lot of reactions to him I felt the entire section I was in tense up some I’m thinking WFT he’s still human who cares what religion he practices I was so upset. I know what it’s liked to be judged conventional conformist with no lives. So I pitied the dude.

Friday, September 19, 2008


The empty feeling that once plagued my mind seems to have returned. I spent the end of my mental health day curled up in bed crying. My thoughts have become more complex ... but not in a good way. I turn to an unlikely source to comfort the pain I feel. It’s no ones fault I feel this way, I’ll chalk it all up to a mental imbalance that affects my emotions. Today is one of those days ... *sigh*. I’ll just wing it and place that smile on my face the one every one wants to see, the one that saves me form unwanted pity looks and every other unwanted kind gesture . This is how I feel now but who know I could get better.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

just thinking

I have every reason to be the happiest person on the planet ... but I’m not... I mean I am but at the same time I’m not I cant explain ... when I think of the reason I’m happy the doubt that has been placed in my mind is in there lurking and I cant make it go away ... its really odd I choose to blog this but I did ... I lie to my self and to my heart every day but what can I say? I just wish I knew what to say or how to say what I need to say.
As a poem I once wrote states “I have a love who loves me not, whose in love with one I love not” and that sucks big time …....

Monday, September 8, 2008

The u.s of a

Comment on peut-il vraiment les trouver l'individu quand ils ne savent pas comment ou où regarder ?

Comment on sait-il vers qui à se tourner quand elles ont l'aucun où aller ?

Pouvons-nous vraiment changer qui nous sommes ? Pouvons-nous changer nos manières à l'avenir ? Comment pouvons-nous améliorer notre pays pour notre individu et pour d'autres ?

Je ne suis pas futé je pose juste beaucoup de questions !

Oui je suis « différent » ainsi suis toi nous tous les individus, à moins que votre un sourd-muet un **.

Si vous voyez que moi dans la rue avec ma came maniable et toi ne voulez pas être enregistré la sucez vers le haut ou obtenez * beep* hors de ma manière sanglante.

Je peux être controversé mais dû à l'acte de patriote que je ne suis pas à la liberté à partager - « en période de guerre nos libertés civiles sont-elles limitées " se rappellent-elles l'acte japonais d'internement ?

Qu'est arrivé à rester neutre ? George Washington a-t-il fait sortir nous des problèmes ainsi nous bidon avoir une autre guerre froide ? Pourquoi ne pouvons pas nous être plutôt le Canada vous ne les entendez jamais entrer à stupide à chier.

Je ne sélectionne pas un côté en parties politiques en ce moment mais honnêtement si John McCain devait aller tout chemin vers l'Alaska de trouver un républicain féminin qui dit une certaine chose, pouvez-vous compter tous les républicains féminins dans le bureau ? Cette femme de palin ne pratique pas ce qu'elle prêche l'aka sa fille enceinte qui est forcée papa d'épouser ses bébés' parce que sa maman est courir du bureau. l'OH et forons juste plus qu'il n'est pas comme nous ne voulons pas global nous chauffant en fait lui faisons bon accueil… chaque républicain est le même ils que tout est d'accord avec Regan et n'était-il pas celui qui n'a pas su où l'Afrique était ? . Quel genre de politique étrangère est celui ?

Les parties politiques ne sont pas même dans la constitution ainsi pourquoi nous juste tous n'allons pas libéral et ne proposons pas un meilleur plan.

Quelles la plupart des personnes conviennent dessus est que le changement du besoin de gouvernement.

Vous pouvez ou ne pouvez pas être d'accord avec moi mais à la fin du jour c'est moi opinion

Ainsi comme j'aime dire « sucez-le VERS LE HAUT ».

Je suis la fillette d et j'approuve ce message.

Dailymotion - Pink - So What (New song), a video from wonderful-life1989. Pink, So, what, music, Etats-Unis

Dailymotion - Pink - So What (New song), a video from wonderful-life1989. Pink, So, what, music, Etats-Unis

The US of A

How can one truly find them self’s when they don’t know how or where to look?
How does one know who to turn to when they have no where to go?
Can we really change who we are? Can we change our ways for the future? How can we better our country for our self’s and for others?

I’m not smart I just ask a lot of questions!
Yes I’m “different" so are you we all individuals, unless your an dumb a**.

If you see me in the street with my handy cam and you don’t want to be recorded suck it up or get the * beep* out of my bloody way.

I may be controversial but due to the patriot act I’m not at liberty to share -" in times of war our civil liberties are limited" remember the Japanese internment act?

What happened to staying neutral? Did George Washington get us out of trouble so we can have another cold war? Why can’t we be more like Canada you never hear them getting in to stupid crap.

I’m not picking a side in the political parties right now but honestly if john McCain had to go all the way to Alaska to find a female republican that says some thing, can you count all female republicans in office? This palin woman doesn’t practice what she preaches aka her pregnant daughter who's being forced to marry her babies’ daddy because her mom is running of office. oh and let's just drill more it's not like we don’t want global warming in fact we welcome it ... every republican is the same they all agree with Regan and wasn't he the one who didn’t know where Africa was ? . What kind of foreign policy is that?

Political parties aren't even in the constitution so why don’t we just all go liberal and come up with a better plan.

What most people agree on is that the government need’s change.
You may or may not agree with me but at the end of the day this is me opinion
So like I like to say “suck it UP".

I am missy d and I approve this message.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

its my body right?

O.k. so I asked my mom of I could get a piercing she said no.
I then asked her if I could get a tattoo she said no.
Later on I asked if I could dye my hair she ignored me and when I kept bugging her she threatened to ground me.

It my body right? So why can’t I just do what I feel?

Why do parents have a control over us? Why can’t they just give us money and let us live our lives and of course be there once we do some thing stupid that they probably would have told us no to?

So since my mom wouldn’t let me I cut my hair ... short I now have pinks hair cut, and there nothing my mom can do.
Last I checked she couldn’t make hair grow out of thin air.

I’m happy with my new do and she has no choice but to be happy to.... at least I didn’t go back to my Mohawk right?

Who care it’s my body and I can do what I want with it!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

bbbooorrreeeddd !!!!

Have you ever felt conceded at times? If you said no well you’re lying.
I feel conceded right now. I just pulled my portfolio out of the closet and I really do feel conceded.

Not only do I feel conceded I’m bored and lazy to. It’s raining out side....
Naturally and normally I’d pick up a book and read but I don’t feel like it.

I bought a bag of tootsie pops and attempted to see how long it would take to lick all the way to the center. Half way through the bag I forgot what and why I was doing it,
The bags now gone and I have a killed stomach ache. Oh it takes me 120 slow watery licks :}.

When I woke up this morning I felt like it was going to be a blaaah day that’s why I miss school.
But after dancing around my room in my undies me realized I needed a life.

My bother's in collage so he had a morning class which gave me the chance to go explore his room :) I retrieved my long lost psp and started playing metal gear I’ve now beat it and they say I’m a kerotan what ever that may be....
Before I started on this blog I shot a couple of zombies in the head before getting grossed out and quitting, plus I hate feeling anxious.

I’ve decide to move on out to the kitchen to make some sort of food since I haven’t had a solid meal. (No kid’s candy doesn't count)
Oh yeah my ex boy friend's coming over haven't seen him in a while he's kind of fun when he's not trying to get me to sleep with him (which is why we broke up in the first place).

Hummm .......................................... why is my life so boring? And why is it that when it’s not boring it sucks? Eeeekk save me!!!!

altinate ending part 4(2) final edition

He stared heading for me I screamed dropping my lap top, and falling back in to the mirror.
To my surprise I didn't hear the shattering of glass.
A sudden coldness over came me for some reason I was drenched in some kind of cold goo.
I stood up, utter darkness I reached for my back pocket of my trusted lighter.
I flicked it on and held it up I stared at the boy. He was attempting to break the mirror but it didn’t seem to be working "you'll be safe here" I heard a voice say I jerked around.

It was only me, my self form at a younger age. I relaxed “can he get in?" I asked " no this is your safe haven remember?" I looked around it all came back to me when I was younger my folks had a home and one day while playing in the yard I saw a hole and crawled in. inside was a little cave every day after school I would come home grad a snack and some book's and go into my cave, my shell, my safe haven. There nothing could hurt me, there were no adult's having heated arguments, no kids could pick on me there.

The question was why I was back there and who was that psycho trying to kill me?

“If you wish it, it shall be" said my mini me “what?" she repeated herself “if you wish it, it shall be"
“Why can’t any one just say what they mean? I hate riddles! And any thing mind boggling. I just want to go home and blog!" "If that’s what I become I don’t want to be you" she turned walked to a corner and sat down.
I stood there looking ashamed of my self what was I becoming the only thing I ever cared about was blogging. It had become like an addiction.

my inability to be the way I was kept me trapped in my own head while my body laid in a hospital bed aging and wasting away in a coma.

Then one day as I sat in my corner I said “I wish I could go home, I wish I could see my friends and family one more time”
I finally understood that there was more to life than blogging that there was more to life than sitting at my laptop. And if given a second chance I would go out there and live my life.

I then woke up back in my room.

"That was the strangest effing dream ever!" said getting up from my bed
I should blogg this.

The end

the ending of "whats blogging?"

and then .... i ate cake ;}

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

whats blogging? part 3

Several minutes past.
She must be gone I thought
Looking up.


This time she was not alone.
A familiar looking boy was sitting
Next to her.

o.k. I thought I didn’t hear him come in,
"your still here I see” I said” and you invited
Your friend?"

They looked at me “well when you’re done you can join us for tea"
replied the girl in a haughty voice.

Getting annoyed I stood up and walked to the door of my room
if they weren't going to leave I was. I needed peace and quiet
to blog and if there was going to be a disturbance it was only
going to be caused by the sounds of Pink. As I passed my closet
door I caught a glimpse of my self at the age of five or maybe six
I stopped.

“Do you see now" said the little girl
"I don’t get it" I responded still steering at my self
"What is it you want from me?" I turn around to face the
little girl but where she last stood was an adolescent girl
about the age of fifteen with blood spilling from the gapping
wounds on her face .the boy that had been there was an adolescent
now himself , and he was holding the bloody knife
“O.k. “I cried “what did you do”
He looked up as though realizing I was standing there and
then he started heading my way........

Monday, August 11, 2008

what is blogging?part 2

back in my room,
sitting on my bed with my laptop
blogging i hear a a diffrent voice asking
me when i will stop

"I'll stop when I'm done" i said

i miss hanging out with you like i used to
said the voice

my curiosity go the better of me
i looked up .
sitting at the end of my bed was a little girl
I'd never seen her in my life yet alone played with her
who was she what did she want and why couldn't she let
me just blog in Peace?
" who are you ?" i ask
" you know who i am " she respond
losing patience i snapped " obviously not if i had to ask"

she frowned " you weren't always like this, you've changed"
giving up on the intruder of my room i returned to blogging

so are you coming or what she asked
i ignored her hoping she would just go away and get out.....

traped in my head

..... here goes . lately I've been trapped in my head not wanting to leave . i cant stand being out of my mind for to long . searching for true love in the wrong places, wanting to be some body ,wanting to be nobody, torn.

sometimes i think of what it would be like to be open and true to my self

but the thought of that scares me . wanting to make every body happy . mama said i was a freak for what i did so i went in my Shell like the crab i am . i want to be happy but it doesn't fit into my schedul . the only time i feel safe is while I'm in a dark room processing photo's of the life i wised i had . i plaster on a smile every morning because i hear that's what I'm supposed to do . lost... .

the mind the sole most complicated place after the heart. if my world were less complicated I'd have clones so i wouldn't feel so alone.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

what is meatloaf

meatloat is......

made by mixing ground meat , one onion, one raw egg, chopped green peper,
two choped tomatoes, half a cup of bread croms and a quater cup of milk.
then baked .

Friday, August 1, 2008

here are the directions to ...

on a diffrent note,

here are the directions to creation of a perfect end of day.

go to boston market order rice with stringbeans and meat loaf, ask for a side order of gravy go home dish it out on a plate and enjoy.
dont for get to patt your self on the back for saving time that you can now use to watch t.v or blog:>
what is blogging?
is it where you go and rant and rave about stuff you don't like?

that's what she asked me

i guess i responded shrugging, i do it because
i like sharing my mind with strangers
who are some what like me,
poor lost souls.

i look up from my laptop, amazed to see that the person
i was speaking to was my self at a younger age.
i shook my head.
are you OK ?she said
i looked up again more surprised than ever ....
i was back in the room i never left.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

meeting new people

while at gym today i decided to approach this girl that i don't know to talk to her because she looks and seems cool. i found out that she had had a kidney operation and was out of school for 3 months but the gym teacher still failed her.not fair i know. we then started talking about other things ; she wants to be a form of dentist one that doesn't pull teeth out, shes been accepted to the university of Michigan she starts in august . we moved on to talking about celebrities , the ones we have meet and how they behave and stuff . we both agree that all celebs need to treat their fans with the uth most respect ( like Avril Lavigne whom i meet and love).

I mean without the fans they would be nothing!.

i felt good after i spoke to her i like meating new people!.

Monday, July 28, 2008

i sometimes wonder

I've just finished reading the lonely bones by Alice Sebold, I've been reading it on and off for months. the story's about a girl who gets raped and murdered, after she dies she follows her friends and family while they deal with the loss of her. she refusing to let them go prevented her from completely moving on.as the girl watched from above , watching her family get torn by her death she got a better understanding of them...
i sometimes wonder ...

i spend my days looking of excitement, being held back by my over protective mother.
but now i wonder should i enjoy these moments of forced companionship, would they be enjoyed by some one who's life was cut short?.

Monday, July 21, 2008

सुम्मेर school

today was the first day of summer school . i woke up early and was ready to go by 6:30
when i got to school i was first greeted by posers who pretend to be my friends, or at least I'm their friend if they can see me.
i didn't mind them i was happy at least Lem wasn't there .(Lem is a girl I'm not on friendly relations with because she believes every thing people say with out verifying the truth ) well so i thought , i was headed across the auditorium to say hi to another acquaintance when i turned the corner and there she was . oh great i thought why is she here she couldn't possibly have failed the U.S history regent again (this will be the forth time shes taking that test) well of course i spotted her in a u.s history class not paying attention.
your probably wondering why I'm talking so big i have summer school too, well that would be because i only have it for a gym class i failed while i was sick.

other than that uncomfortable meetimg the rest of my day was pleasant.